Thursday, April 22, 2010

Notes A.7007B

"If everyone knows everything, should we admire them or feel sorry for them?"

-- H.H. the II.375


"There's no now in knowledge. Learn, then."

"There's no crying in baseball."

"I may be dumb, but at least I'm not smart."

"There's no I in team."

{Coach Jensen's Revised Halftime Speech

Okay gang, listen up--we only have 20 minutes left to play in this basketball game. Drink your water, rest up, and use your halftime break wisely. Now I want you all to consider what I told you all before the start of this game. Remember my inspirational speech? Well I've made some revisions. First, continue to think about what I said about Gladiator, Glitter, and Ace Ventura. But, and this is a big but, think about how I said that there is no "I" in team. Now I'm going to ask you to erase that thought.

I was thinking about it during the Second Quarter, when we had 11 straight turnovers, and I had an epiphany, a sudden realization--it was like Russell Crowe was directly channeling into my brain. And you know what? There is an "I" in team. Just think about it this way, there is an "e" and an "m" in the word, "team." If you put those 2 letters together in a certain order, it spells, "me." As you all have learned during past English classes, "me" is another form of "I" through a particular grammar rule. So think about me for the rest of the game. Think about what I want--my goals, my dreams, and my happiness.

The best way to fulfill my wants is to keep passing the ball to Billy. We all know he's the best player on the team. We all know that he can shoot, pass, play defense, and for the rest of this game, we want Billy to do all of this--it's our best shot of winning this game and getting a win before the season ends. Think about it this way: the "me" in "team" is also equivalent to the "i" in Billy, and the "i" in "Billy" is also "I," meaning "me." Take a look at the marker board.

Team = t, e, a, m
e, m = me (rearranged)
me = what I want


what I want = me and,
the "me" in team = the "i" in Billy.


The "i" in Billy = "I" as in "me."

Solution: There is an "I" in team.

It's all in the Math, folks, and note that there is no remainder. This is simple division, gang. The full and complete answer is Billy.

So far, we have a total of 4 points, 1/2 a rebound, and 19 turnovers. All 4 points came from Billy, and I think we would have more if we get him the ball more. I think we would have fewer turnovers if we get him the ball more. And I think we would have more rebounds, if we quit trying to get the ball, and just let Billy do his thing. So, the next time you happen to get the ball, think about what "me" wants, and "me," as stated earlier, means, me, Coach Jensen. If you see someone underneath the net, wide open, think twice and make sure that it's Billy. If it's not Billy, don't pass it but find him as quickly as possible and get him the ball--pass it to him, dribble it to him, do whatever you need to do, just get him the ball. If you're wide open for a shot--don't do it. Statistics have shown that you will definitely not make the shot. Who wants to not make a shot? No one. Right? And giving Billy the ball is the best way to get around this. Remember, there is an "I" in team through "me," and this equals Billy.

For defense, we're going to use the same kind of tactics. Don't try to steal the ball. Keep your hands to where everyone can see them--either do that, or keep your hands behind your back. Don't try to guard the guy in front of you, behind you, or next to you. The trick is to kind of pretend to play defense, but basically what you all will be doing is standing still and waiting for Billy to get to the player. If the player passes the ball to another player, wait for Billy to get there first before trying to do anything else. I was originally thinking of having you all just standing in the corner and let Billy play defense, but it may look a bit awkward.

If Billy happens to get the ball before any of you all do, then you go to the corner and stand still. You can wave your hands and shout and all, but don't move from the corner until I say so. This will give Billy plenty of room to maneuver and break the defense. If you're in the middle of the court--you will just get in the way of the objective. We don't need to give the defense any additional help by trying to play offense.

Okay that's it for now. Keep your ears tuned to my voice though during the game. I may make some more revisions, including having you all stand in the corner on defense too. And remember, everyone, think about me, your coach. I don't know if you have realized it yet, but we've just changed the history of sports here--we've changed the outlook on the traditional concepts of teamwork, and I'm glad that you all are a part of it. Teamwork can also mean being a team and not doing anything to let someone else do something to help the team win. There is an "I" in team as proven on the marker board--it's a great loophole so let's take advantage of it. Now go
warm up and let's show everyone the power of this team. Keep up the hard work. }

Derek Rose is a rose is a rose.

List of numbers:

1. 2
2. 3
3. 4
4. 5
5. 6
6. 7
7. 8

List of lists

List 1
List 2
List 3
List 4
List 5
List 6

"Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers. " -- Shakespeare's Taming Of The Shrew

Boys II Men ABC BVDs

"I just made you say underwear."

Umberto's echoes,
Jhumpa "Mike" Lahiri
Bad Boys
Alexandre Dumars

"Shimmy shimmy ya shimmy yam shimmy yeh" Ol D B


"La la la hey la la la hey la la la hey"


"Ghetto super" twinkle twinkle little "star."

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