Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Kanye West Interviews Kanye West

Kanye West: Kanye, you consider yourself to be one of the greatest entertainers of all time.

Kanye West: I am exquisite.

Kanye West: Could you expand on that a bit more? Why are you great?

Kanye West: It's hard to explain, even to you--though you understand me the best. It's like--I feel like I'm the best. And it's not even that I feel like I'm the best, I know I am the best. And it's not even like I know I am the best--I am the best. I'm handsome.

Kanye West: You are sexy.

Kanye West: Do you like my sunglasses?

Kanye West: I do. Explain them to me.

Kanye West: They're the best sunglasses, because I'm wearing them. Anything I touch turns to platinum, you know. Like the present day Midas touch.

Kanye West: Midas?

Kanye West: It's like Greek mythology. It's the best mythology, because I know about it. Because I incorporated it into this interview, you know. Who else do you know that incorporates Greek mythology in their interviews?

Kanye West: Maybe theologians from Greece?

Kanye West: Good point. That's a good point. But you make a good point, because you're Kanye West and anything you say is a good point. It turns to platinum. Ask me another question. I like this. I like this interview. It makes me great.

Kanye West: So many people frown upon you. It's like, turn that frown into a clown and smile, don't you think? Why do they want to take you down?

Kanye West: I'm like Jesus.

Kanye West: Now, Kanye, what do you mean when you say you're like Jesus?

Kanye West: It's like my song: Jesus Walks. It's one of the best songs ever made. It belongs to a collection of all the best songs ever made, because I made them. Remember that front cover I had on that magazine? I looked like Jesus.

Kanye West: What's that song about?

Kanye West: It's about me and Jesus. Jesus and I. I go on about how we're not allowed to sing about Jesus. It's marvelous.

Kanye West: But what about Jesus Christ Superstar, The Little Drummer Boy, and Depeche Mode?

Kanye West: Man, Kanye--that's another good point. Only you can make such a good point. You're smart. You're intelligent. I like that. Anyway, everyone wanted to take Jesus down because he was number 1. Everyone wants to take me down, because I'm number 1. Now, I'm better than number 1; I'm the number that comes before number 1.

Kanye West: 0?

Kanye West: I'm like the number 0. And I'm on my way to even becoming the numbers before zero. I'm talking about negative numbers, like -1, -2, -3, and etcetera.

Kaney West: You're so cute.

Kanye West: You can tell me twice and it never gets old. It's always new, because anything I say is fresh. Like lettuce. Like fresh lettuce.

Kanye West: Lettuce pray.

Kanye West: Nice--I like that. I like that pun. It's great, because it came from you. I'm going to have to use that in one of my future songs, which will be one of the best songs ever made. The song is going to be called We Eat, and it's going to be about me and Jesus in the grocery story buying produce and what not. It'll show the similarities of how we both eat food.

Kanye West: You're the best.

Kanye West: No, you're the best.

Kanye West: How are you going to say that to my face? You know you're the best--you admitted it yourself.

Kanye West: Sorry man--I only said that, because I'm the best. Let's not argue here.

Kanye West: Cheers, man. Thanks for this interview--I hope people will get a better understanding of me, because of you.

Kanye West: They will get the best understanding of you, because of me, because I did this interview. I'm the best.

Kanye West: You're the best.

Kanye West: No, I'm the best.

Kanye Wst: What else?

Kanye West: I'm like sex.

Kanye West: Well, that's going to do it for this interview. Anything else you would like to add before I go?

Kanye West: It's like I'm Neo from The Matrix. Except, I'm better than Neo, because he wasn't real. He was just in a movie. I'm real, and I'm in life, you know. Like how he saw everything in green numbers? I see the same thing, except that everything I see is bigger and better and more musically oriented, and it goes from left to right rather than up and down. I wish Neo was real so that we could have a duel or something. I don't like those sunglasses he wears though. Mine are better. I can fly too and stop in the middle of the air and twirl around and all that--I just keep it a secret.

Kanye West: I think your sunglasses are the best I've ever seen.

No comments:

Post a Comment